Mr. Lesley Cooks

Tom's Mom

Things have really been busy lately and I have not had a chance to post.

My mom has had a stroke and the doctors say that there is nothing that they can do other than put her through a bunch of exhaustive tests that have no real chance of finding anything they can fix.  We are keeping her at home for as long as she is around.  We don't really know how long that will be.

Lesley has created another blog  for me (http://flatwoodsfolkart.typepad.com/toms_mom) that I am going to use for awhile instead of this one.  I hope to return to this blog later on.

I Get An Idea

It's not often that a real stroke of genius hits, but I got bopped by one just yesterday.  I kind of like my hair short like it is, and I was wondering if maybe I should let my beard grow and it could be the same length as my hair and both hair and beard could be cut at once and how efficient that would be.  It's not that I'm lazy or anything or that I hate to shave exactly.  It just seemed like a good thing to do, helping Lesley and all.

I casually mentioned this to Lesley who gave me this look.  I had seen that look before.  All she said was, "NO!".  I got the message.

Now this idea I had was nothing like my mom's idea about the ginger cookies.  She suggested that I should make some for the visitors she is expecting later on today.  She said that she would have to eat some, too, since it would make her guests feel more welcome.  Hah!  I know she just wanted some cookies.  And I was being selfless because I could see how it would help Lesley when she cut my hair.  You see....don't you?  I was just thinking of others, as I always do.

Last week, we ate at Alejandro's Mexican Grill and I got Carnitas.  Holey Moley!! Where has this been all my life?

Carnitas

4-5-pounds boneless pork shoulder, cut into 5-inch chunks
1 tablespoon coarse sea salt
2 tablespoons canola or neutral vegetable oil
water
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper or 1 teaspoon red pepper flakes
1 teaspoon chili powder
1 teaspoon oregano
2 bay leaves
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
1 head of garlic, cut in half
White and black pepper to taste

Rub the pieces of pork shoulder all over with salt.  Heat the oil in a roasting pan set on the stovetop. Cook the pieces of pork shoulder in a single layer until very well-browned, turning them as little as possible so they get nice and dark before flipping them around. If your cooking vessel is too small to cook them in a single-layer, cook them in two batches.  Once all the pork is browned, remove the pieces from the pot and pour in about a cup of water, scraping the bottom of the pan with a flat-edged utensil to release all the tasty brown bits.

Heat the oven to 350 degrees.  Add the pork back to the pan and add enough water so the pork pieces are 2/3 submerged in liquid. Add remaining ingredients. Braise in the oven uncovered for 3 hours, turning the pork a few times during cooking, until much of the liquid is evaporated and the pork is falling apart. Remove the pan from the oven and lift the pork pieces out of the liquid and set them on a platter.

Once the pork pieces are cool enough to handle, shred them into bite-sized pieces, about 2-inches (7 cm), discarding any obvious big chunks of fat. Return the pork pieces back to the roasting pan and cook in the oven, turning occasionally, until the liquid has evaporated and the pork is crispy and caramelized. It will depend on how much liquid the pork gave off, and how crackly you want the pieces to be.

Tom

Maggie

No recipe today.  It's pretty sad around here right now. 

Our little girl dog Maggie died last night.  She would have been nine in July. 

Maggie and her brother Clancy came to live with us just after 9-11-01 when they were two months old.  We still remember how they would both try to get down the stairs and all you could see were two little doggie tail bobbing up and down.

I think Maggie was the best dog who ever let me live with her.  She was completely fearless, always cheerful and happy, wagging her tail constantly, sitting so sweetly, hoping for a treat. 

 

We used to take her out for rides by herself.  She like being the "only dog."  She loved going through drive-in, and would excitedly poke her head out the window around yours to smell the food and anticipate what might be coming her way.

She had this "Maggie look".  That's what we used to call it.   She would turn her head and get this look on her face that seemed to say that she was just tolerating you until you quit doing whatever it was you were doing and did what she wanted you to do. 

She loved having her ears rubbed and her throat scratched and would grunt and moan and lay her head back like she was double or triple jointed. 

She was, frankly, an awful puppy...running off, jumping up on visitors, having intestinal problems, she was always full-throttle.  Then one day she turned into the almost perfect dog.  I could always count on her to do whatever I wanted her to do, eventually.  She always came when I called and was always just so glad to see me.  She never complained when I was in a bad mood.  She was just full of love.

We will miss the way she came prancing around the corner and how she would sit in front of the fan and have gas so that we thought we would die first from the fumes and second from the laughter.

I didn't think of these things as I looked at the consent form ready for my signature that I couldn't sign for awhile.  But she was in so much pain and there was so little hope that I did what I had to so that she wouldn't suffer any more.  We held her and petted her and kissed her as she went away and there was no more Maggie left.

This morning, Lesley and I took Clancy and Lucy to Hardee's and we got an extra sausage biscuit for Maggie and brought it home and split it four ways and we all thought about what a great dog she was as we each ate our share.

The vet made a paw print and I cut off a lock of her hair.  She is being cremated and will be returned to us in a week or so.  I have put her favorite rope toy and some of her hair from her crate in a plastic baggie in the top of my dresser.  We have her original leash, the only one she ever used. Maybe one day I can put her crate away, but now it's too hard to think about. 

All I know is that somewhere Maggie is her old happy self and her cataracts are gone and so is her limp and she can jump and play again and someone is complaining about the smell and she is just smiling sweetly to herself.

High Mileage Indicators

Here are a couple of clues that suggest that you might be a little long in the tooth, other than using that expression.

For those of you who don't know, in 1975 Jimmy Hoffa, former president of the Teamsters Union, disappeared under mysterious circumstances and has never been found.  When calling business acquaintances, I would occasionally say that I was Jimmie Hoffa when the receptionist asked who was calling.  It got to be more and more the case that the response would be, "I'll tell him you're calling, Mr. Hoffa."

I got another of these indicators this morning when I called to pay a medical bill.  Because of all the confidentiality now associated with health care, the woman who answered the phone asked me my birth date, apparently as a means of identification.  Not wanting to be the only one asking this question, I asked her what her date of birth was.  When she replied, March 2, without giving a year I remarked that I was first married on March 2, 1968.  After not even a slight pause, the lady came back with, "I think my mom was two years old then."

Our niece in Louisiana asked for a "GREAT recipe for round steak and cajun brown gravy", so I passed along Lesley's.

Country Style Steak & Gravy
(Lesley’s own recipe)

1 package of cube steaks
2 tbsp. butter
Salt, Pepper, Tony’s Seasoning
Garlic Powder
1-1/2 cups flour
Water (as needed)
2 tbsp. canola oil

In a Dutch oven or large skillet heat vegetable oil.

Season the flour using salt, pepper, garlic powder and Tony’s. Lightly cover the cube steaks with flour and brown lightly on both sides. Remove the cube steaks to a plate. Add the butter to the skillet. When melted add in 3/4 to 1 cup of the seasoned flour. When the butter and the flour are mixed together (this mixture will be kind of dry) add in about 1 cup of water. The flour will clump together slightly, just stir it with a spoon and “mash” the clumps out. This mixture will thicken pretty quickly. Add in another cup of water and do as before, stirring and “mashing”. Then add in about 2 more cups of water and stir, mixing well. Using Kitchen Bouquet darken the gravy to your liking. Return the browned steaks to the gravy and cover simmered on low heat. During cooking you may need to add more water if the gravy becomes too thick.

You may use round steak instead of cube steaks just simmer it longer to get it good and tender. I usually simmer mine about an hour or so with cube steaks. You may also add finely chopped celery and onions to this when you return the meat to the gravy.

Tom

Today Is An Exciting Day

How so, you may ask?  Well, today is the day that our eMusic account refreshes.  In just a few more hours, I can download 75 more songs.

I think there are too many thrills in my life.  I need to watch my heart...if I had one.

Poor Lesley...the doctors don't know what's wrong with her.  She has been sick for a week and a half.  Originally it was tonsillitis and infected sinuses,  then maybe it was mono...yesterday the doctor said maybe it's a virus.  I just hope she gets better soon so she can get back to doing that "woman's work."

I made these rolls for her the other night, but they didn't seem to help.

Homemade Dinner Rolls

1 (1/4-ounce) package dry active yeast
1 cup warm water, about 110 degrees F
1/2 cup sugar
1 egg, beaten
2 teaspoons salt
1 cup milk, scalded but cooled to warm
4 ounces melted butter, plus 2 ounces
5 cups flour, plus more, as needed
2  2" muffin tins for 12 muffins each

Directions

In a standing mixing bowl with dough hook, dissolve yeast in warm water. Let sit until lightly foamy, then stir in sugar and add egg, salt, warm milk, and 4 ounces of butter. Slowly add 5 cups flour, adding more as needed to make an elastic dough. Mix well, then roll out to floured surface and knead dough for about 5 minutes.

Place dough in buttered bowl, cover with towel, and set in a warm place to rise until double in bulk, about 1 hour.

Lightly oil the muffin pans. Punch down dough and form dough into 1-inch balls. Place 3 balls in each muffin tins. Fill muffin pans, cover with towel, and allow to rise an additional 1/2 hour.

Preheat oven to 425 degrees F.

Brush with remaining melted butter. Bake in preheated oven for 10 to 15 minutes, until golden brown.

It's Great To Be This Elderly

Years ago, one of my next door neighbors decided he wanted a divorce.  He claimed his then-wife had "robbed him of his youth".

Well, mine's gone too.  I don't know who took it, I'm just glad it's been taken from me.  It took me a long time to be this saintly...or at least this happy. 

Looking back on things, I believe the main trouble with my first two marriages is that I was in them.  I don't know what I did to deserve Lesley, but I'm glad she took me off the market.  It wasn't much of a market anyway.  There weren't even any window shoppers.

I'm grateful to be able to take care of my mom, too.  Some days I am more grateful than others, but it's nice to be able to fix her breakfast and lunch and take care of her personal needs every day.  I really enjoy how the three of us have dinner together.

Whatever else is in store for me, I am delighted that, at least in this lifetime, I don't ever have to be a teenager again.

Some of our family were in town and came by to visit my mom.  I think she enjoyed them.  Since they were here she has had a lot of pain in her hip.  I guess it's true what that say about families being a pain sometimes.  I fixed some ginger crinkles for them.  I forgot to put the molasses in the first batch, so I covered this up by saying there were two versions of the cookie to see which they liked best.  Everyone pretended to believe me.  I thought the cookies were really dry, but the dogs assured me in the strongest terms that they were really tasty.

I'm looking for some more recipes for cookies/brownies/cupcakes to take to Art and Soul in Hampton next month.  Maybe this one would be good.

CHEWY PECAN DIAMONDS

Crust
1 3/4 cups all purpose flour
1/3 cup powdered sugar
1/4 cup cornstarch
1/2 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) chilled unsalted butter, cut into 1/2-inch pieces
Topping
1 1/4 cups (packed) golden brown sugar
1/2 cup light corn syrup
1/4 cup (1/2 stick) unsalted butter
4 cups coarsely chopped pecans (about 14 1/2 ounces)
1/2 cup whipping cream
2 teaspoons vanilla extract

Crust: Preheat oven to 350°F. Line 13x9x2-inch baking pan with foil, leaving 1-inch overhang on all sides. Butter foil. Blend flour, powdered sugar, cornstarch and salt in processor. Add butter and process until mixture begins to clump together. Press dough evenly onto bottom of foil-lined pan. Bake crust until set and light golden, about 25 minutes. Remove from oven. Let stand while preparing topping. Reduce oven temperature to 325°F.
Topping: Stir brown sugar, corn syrup and butter in heavy medium saucepan over medium-high heat until sugar dissolves and mixture boils; boil 1 minute. Add pecans and cream; boil until mixture thickens slightly, about 3 minutes. Stir in vanilla. Pour hot topping over warm crust.
Bake nut-topped crust until caramel is darker and bubbles thickly, about 20 minutes. Transfer pan to rack. Cool completely in pan (topping will harden).
Lift foil out of pan onto cutting board. Using heavy sharp knife, cut crust with nut topping into 1 1/2x1-inch diamonds. (Can be made 1 week ahead. Store between sheets of waxed paper in airtight container at room temperature.)  Makes 32.

Tom

Attention Kitchen Equipment Abusers

If you are an artist and you just happen, through some sort of misunderstanding, to misappropriate your spouse's cooking tools, this is addressed to you. 

As you can see from the lamentable photo below, which I took while tidying up after a certain artist who will remain nameless unless she continues this unfortunate behavior, a crime has been committed.  

The image is a little fuzzy and you might not be able to make out the label on the scissors, which reads Cuisinart.  It does not say Altered Art.  This means it belongs in the kitchen.  That is its home.  It is not suitable for any kind of use other than for cooking.  The scissors have happily been returned to their rightful place and have been given a warm welcome by their brother and sister gadgets.

On behalf of all kitchen tools everywhere, I beg you not to kidnap them from their happy homes and torture them by putting them to any inappropriate use.  In case you were wondering, and use other than for cooking is an inappropriate use.

Thank you and enjoy this recipe, even if you have a guilty conscience.

OLIVE, ROSEMARY, AND ONION FOCACCIA

a 1/4-ounce package (2 1/2 teaspoons) active dry yeast
1 teaspoon sugar
4 1/2 to 5 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/4 teaspoons salt
3 tablespoons olive oil
2 teaspoons finely chopped fresh rosemary leaves plus whole rosemary leaves
1/4 cup minced onion
1/2 pound Kalamata, Niçoise, or green Greek olives or a combination, pitted and cut into slivers (about 1 cup)
1 1/2 teaspoons coarse salt, or to taste

In the large bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the dough hook stir together the yeast, the sugar, and 1 3/4 cups lukewarm water and proof the yeast mixture for 5 minutes, or until it is foamy. Stir in 4 1/2 cups of the flour, the salt, and 2 tablespoons of the oil and knead the dough, scraping down the dough hook occasionally and adding as much of the remaining 1/2 cup flour as necessary to form a soft, slightly sticky dough, for 3 minutes. Transfer the dough to a lightly oiled bowl, turn it to coat it with the oil, and let it rise, covered, in a warm place for 1 hour, or until it is double in bulk. Knead in the chopped rosemary, press the dough with lightly oiled hands into a well-oiled 15 1/2- by 10 1/2-inch jelly-roll pan, and let it rise, covered loosely, for 30 minutes. The dough may be made 8 hours in advance and kept covered and chilled.

Dimple the dough with your fingertips, making 1/4-inch-deep indentations, brush it with the remaining 1 tablespoon oil, and top it with the onion, the olives, the salt, and the whole rosemary leaves. Bake the focaccia in the bottom third of a preheated 400°F. oven for 35 to 45 minutes, or until it is golden and cooked through. Transfer the focaccia to a rack, let it cool for 10 minutes, and serve it, cut into squares, warm or at room temperature.



Tom

Still In The Land Of The Sickies

I am still playing Dr. Mr.Lesley.  Both my mom and Lesley are still sick.  Poor Lesley...she feels pretty good for a few minutes or so, and just knows she is on the mend when she starts to feel rotten again.  She has tonsillitis and infected sinuses.  I am going to fix one of her favorite meal tonight:  meatloaf, buttered parsleyed taters, limas, and homemade rolls.  The artichokes are for Mom and me. 

Steamed Whole Artichokes

4 sprigs parsley
4 garlic cloves
2 bay leaves
2 lemons, cut in half
1/4 cup white wine or 2 tablespoons white wine vinegar
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 quart chicken broth or water
Salt and pepper, to taste
2 whole artichokes

Directions

Put the parsley, garlic, bay leaves, lemons, wine, oil and broth in a large pot and bring to a simmer. Season the liquid with salt and pepper. In the meantime prepare the artichokes.

Wash artichokes under cold water. Using a heavy stainless steel knife, cut off the stems close to the base. Pull off the lower petals that are small and tough. Cut off the top inch of the artichoke and rub with half a lemon to preserve the green color. Alternatively, you may put the artichokes in acidulated water. If you wish, trim the thorny tips of the petals with kitchen shears.

Place the artichokes in the steaming liquid, bottom up. Cover and simmer for about 30 minutes. The artichokes are done when a knife is inserted into the base and there is no resistance.

To eat, pull off a leaf and scrape the meat off the tender end with your front teeth. Dip the ends of the leaves in lemon juice and melted butter if desired. When you reach the center cone of purple prickly leaves, remove it. This is the choke that protects the heart. Now, scrape away the thistle fuzz covering the artichoke heart. The heart is the meatiest part of the artichoke. Steamed artichokes may be served hot or cold.

Tom

Surrounded By Sickies Again

Here I am, the only healthy (at least physically) person in the house today.  Poor Lesley is home sick for the second day in a row.  She got all dressed and was sitting on the sofa looking miserable when I suggested she put her nightgown back on and go back to bed.  Fortunately I convinced her it was the best thing to do.

Mom is suffering mainly from old age.  We are going to the doctor tomorrow for more tests. 

Maybe I should change my name to Dr. Mr. Lesley.

All this reminds me of when I was growing up.  I was sick a lot.  What I was really sick of was was school.  I learned this secret of how you could shake the thermometer by the other end and it would register way high.  One time I shook it too much and before I had a chance to fix it my mother came in and saw that it read 104.  Strange how cool my forehead could feel with such a high temp!!

Here is a recipe that will cure anything.

Garlic Rose Relish

 
1 bunch chopped parsley
1/4 cup chopped garlic
2 tablespoons  Vinegar
1 teaspoon salt
Olive oil to cover

Mix parsley, garlic, vinegar and salt.
Add oil to cover ingredients, stir.
Cover and store in refrigerator (good for 3-4 days).


Tom

An Art Husband’s Work Is Never Done

So there I was around 10:00 last night, in the parking lot of the Holiday Inn in Columbus, OH, back near the dumpsters.  And it’s pretty dark back there, and the wind is blowing, and the temperature is in the mid 40s and dropping.  And I am burning the paint off the tins that Lesley is going to be using in her class later on today while I mind the art store.  Then I get to drive 6 hours back home.

Like all husbands, I never complain, and I suffer in silence and you would never know all the burdens I carry because that’s just the way we are and when I am sick you would never know it because I never let on. 

When I retired, I never realized I was taking on a couple of other jobs, art husband, house husband, cook, clothes washer, vacuum cleaner operator, duster, and maid, just to name a few.

Think of how much I could complain if I didn’t suffer in silence.

Horseradish Creamed Leeks

The white and pale green part of 4 leeks (about 1 pound), trimmed, left whole, and each leek slit down one side to within 1 inch of the base

2 tablespoons unsalted butter

1/3 cup chicken broth

1/3 cup heavy cream

1 tablespoon drained bottled horseradish, or to taste

3 tablespoons grated Gruyère

In a large bowl of cold water fan out the leaves of the leaks and rinse them well until there is no grit. In a large skillet heat the butter over moderate heat until the foam begins to subside, add the leeks, patted dry, and toss them to coat them with the butter. Add the broth and the cream, bring the liquid to a boil, and simmer the mixture, uncovered, stirring occasionally, for 25 to 35 minutes, or until the leeks are very tender. Transfer the leeks with a slotted spatula to a gratin dish. Stir the horseradish into the liquid remaining in the skillet and season the sauce with salt and pepper. Pour the sauce over the leeks, sprinkle it with Gruyère, and broil the leeks under a preheated broiler about 4 inches from the heat for 2 minutes, or until the cheese is golden.

Serves 2

Tom